As Aunties, we often aren't as involved in the nitty-gritty of raising our nieces and nephews. It can take some time to get into the swing of nap schedules, feeding times and morning routines.

But, in my opinion, it's potty training that requires the most amount of cooperation between parents, Aunties, teachers and friends.

My two-and-a-half-year-old niece by choice, Emmy, is currently potty training, and she's very excited about it. She loves her "Big Girl pants" and even wants to sit on the "big potty" instead of her little one.

I'm trying to do all I can to support her and make her feel good about the experience so she'll continue to make progress. But, as every parent knows, sometimes your best-laid plans go to naught when a toddler is involved.

There have been many occasions when the two of us are playing or having a snack and she'll suddenly look up at me and say, "I'm peeing!" And I'm off like a shot, grabbing her and racing for the potty.

Here are some tips to help Aunties like us support our nieces, nephews and their parents in potty-training efforts.

1. Ask the parents. Before you are left alone with your niece or nephew or take him or her out in public, ask the parents how they are handling it, how it's gone so far and what specifically they would like you to do. Perhaps they've started giving stickers for good potty-going, or maybe they've promised a special treat. You don't want to undermine their efforts and set them back several days or even weeks by forgetting to reinforce the good behavior in the manner they've established.

2. Boost that self-esteem. Potty training is such an important self-esteem issue for small children. If your niece or nephew has an accident, calmly explain that it's ok, it's not his or her fault; they're still learning. Praise the fact that they told you they needed to go, even if it was too late. It's important not to yell or make a fuss - children are perceptive and will begin to associate potty-going with negative reactions, which we definitely don't want!

3. Make it fun. One of my fellow ABCs (Auntie-by-Choice) came up with the brilliant idea for each of us to buy Emmy a package of fancy Big Girl pants and fill up a basket for her. We'll buy her favorite characters - Dora the Explorer, Elmo, Wonder Pets, Cinderella - and help make potty time even more fun. If your niece or nephew is getting stickers for each good potty, buy some new ones with favorite colors or characters on them.

4. Be proactive. Ask your niece or nephew frequently if they need to use the potty. It may seem excessive, but it will prompt them to start asking the question to themselves more often and eventually will help them recognize when nature is calling.

5. Be quick on your feet. You'll have to MOVE when the moment arrives, so try to station yourself in an area that's close to the potty. Then, when you're in the middle of playing, it's a quick dash to the bathroom. If your niece or nephew uses a little potty, you may want to have it right in the room with you. This is especially good for things like watching movies.

A little Auntie-Mommy-Niece teamwork will go a long way!

Melanie Linn Gutowski, SavvyAuntie's Associate Editor, is a proud Godmother and ABC.

Published: December 29, 2010